I Won't Be Missed
by Gidi808
Summary: Katniss knew her time would come, she writes a letter to her loved ones before she dies. Rated K, One-shot. Please Read and Review!


To anyone reading this,

I won't be missed, just remember me how I was and I won't be missed. Think of the memories where I was happy, not the memories of my death. Remember when I was laughing instead of crying, my stubbornness and my temper. Remember the stupid things I did that were funny and amusing, not the stupid things that got me killed. Remember the life in my eyes, not the life fading away. Remember my words to you, they all had more meaning in them than you thought they did, remember my final words as I faded away to a place free of cruelness.

Remember the little of good things in my life instead of the hell I had endured. Remember my stupid laugh and strange sense of humour that most were fond of. Know that I always tried my hardest to be the best person I could be for you, for everyone listening to this now. Know that I tried to make every single person proud of me, the person I was and the person I became. Know that I'm happy where I am now and if you grieve over me, I'll come down there and kick your ass. I'm not coming back, nor will I ever; you will just have to live with it. Live with the fact that this was always what I wanted. Remember that you we all warned of this, I had said many times throughout the years that my time was coming, that I wasn't going to outlive the people that I should've, that I wouldn't grow old with my friends, that I would never have children and put them through the hell that was life. Know that I had always warned you, this was never to be a surprise or shock, and now that the time has come, you should be at peace with it.

Don't fight the facts, face them with all the strength you can muster; don't deny the truth as it will not change. Life was never taken away from me, I welcomed death. Don't cry, don't weep because your tears will be wasted, I don't want them, I never did, you need to smile, forget me in the past, and never linger there, live in the present, where I know that you will achieve amazing things.

Know that I was always me, never what anyone wanted me to be but few people really knew me for me, some may claim they do – or did- but they didn't, nor would they ever even if I was still breathing for years more.

I was only ever a small part of your lives, nothing significant, and nothing special, just me, just a small road bump on a long highway of your life. Remember that everything I did for you or to you that I was trying to help you, no matter how unbelievable it may seem. I've only ever wanted to help you, never hurt. Any hateful words I have said to you were out of anger or frustration, but that does not matter anymore but I wish I could take every single word back, I wish I could make amends with the ones that I have hurt. I was changed when I was little, I put up guards and let no one in, trusted no one. I let people think that I did let them in and I did trust them, so no one would suspect. Those walls eventually began to crumble as I grew but never vanished. I couldn't change the things that happened to me, no matter how much I wanted to, what's done is done. Forgive and forget. The scars that I carry are merely reminders that you have to move on from this.

I used to think that vengeance was sweet but now I see that it only brings death and sorrow. For those who know what had happened to me, you know who you are, forget about that don't go looking for the person. I'm asking you to not, for me, go looking. It will not bring closure and it will not bring justice, it will only dig up old, painful memories that I never wanted to live through again.

Life never suited me and it lasted long enough. I never wanted to die old and crippled. This is how I wanted it. Now that I'm gone, help each other, do the things that I never could, do things that I never had the courage or bravery or wits to do. Take your weaknesses and wear them like armour so that no one can hurt you with it. I had many weaknesses, not that many people had thought. I was never an emotionless person. I felt pain, more than most people but the difference was that I chose to ignore it; I chose to ignore the small annoying things, like the cold. For this I was called freak, sometimes affectionate, sometimes not. I was never normal; I was different so I wore that like armour. No one hurt me with it and when they tried, it didn't work because I didn't care.

I had strengths too. I was a trustworthy person as I had been told, I was smart but I did stupid things, I was loyal, friends and family meant the world to me. I was a rock for whoever needed it, never crumbling. Look at every mistake that I have made in my life and use them to learn in yours. Don't do the things that I did, or you will end up like me, writing a letter like this.

Know that I'm sorry that I had to leave you this early, but it was always for the better, it was meant to happen, so let it. Forgive me for leaving you and then forget me, forget everything and move on.

I wrote this letter at a young age, only seventeen and then look over it again at eighteen. I may not know how I have died but I know that I have, or this wouldn't have been read right now. I may be seventeen but I have always known this was inevitable. You may think I am young and I don't know what I'm talking about but I do. At the age of seventeen I have been through hell and back, enough bad things have happened to last me a lifetime and maybe more pain then any of you here. I won't tell you what happened to me, it will taint any thoughts of me, I never wanted pity and you won't give me any now. You may think I am over exaggerating this, that I am making this seem like I had it worse than anyone but I'm not and I did. I am seventeen but I saw this coming before any of you did because I chose to see what is real not what I wanted to see.

For the people that know the truth, tell no one. Keep it to yourself as you have for so many years. Forget that you were ever told if you can.

For all of you standing here right now, today, remember me as I was and then forget me. When this coffin is under the dirt or when my ashes are scatter across the land, bury the memories with them, and I promise you. I won't be missed. My last words will never be sorry, I'm not sorry that this happened and I never will be, nor should any of you.

It was always meant to be this way.

Forgive and Forget.

With love,

Katniss


End file.
